THE LOCH NESS MONSTER IN ADOMNAN’S LIFE OF ST. COLUMBA: A CASE FOR A PINNIPED

The Loch Ness Monster first appears in an early saint’s life, that of Columba, written by the monk Adomnan (7^th-8^th centuries A.D.).  The relevant passage takes up all of Chapter 28 in this piece of hagiography:

De cujusdam aquatilis bestiae virtute orationis beati viri repulsione

ALIO quoque in tempore, cum vir beatus in Pictorum provincia per aliquot moraretur dies, necesse habuit fluvium transire Nesam: ad cujus cum accessisset ripam, alios ex accolis aspicit misellum humantes homunculum; quem, ut ipsi sepultores ferebant, quaedam paulo ante nantem aquatilis praeripiens bestia morsu momordit saevissimo: cujus miserum cadaver, sero licet, quidam in alno subvenientes porrectis praeripuere uncinis. Vir e contra beatus, haec audiens, praecipit ut aliquis ex comitibus enatans, caupallum, in altera stantem ripa, ad se navigando reducat. Quo sancti audito praedicabilis viri praecepto, Lugneus Mocumin, nihil moratus, obsecundans, depositis excepta vestimentis tunica, immittit se in aquas. Sed bellua, quae prius non tam satiata, quam in praedam accensa, in profundo fluminis latitabat, sentiens eo nante turbatam supra aquam, subito emergens, natatilis ad hominem in medio natantem alveo, cum ingenti fremitu, aperto cucurrit ore. Vir tum beautus videns, omnibus qui inerant, tam barbaris quam etiam fratribus, nimio terrore perculsis, cum salutare, sancta elevata manu, in vacuo aere crucis pinxisset signum, invocato Dei nomine, feroci imperavit bestiae dicens, ‘Noles ultra progredi, nec hominem tangas; retro citius revertere.’ Tum vero bestia, hac Sancti audita voce, retrorsum, ac si funibus retraheretur, velociori recursu fugit tremefacta: quae prius Lugneo nanti eo usque appropinquavit, ut hominem inter et bestiam non amplius esset quam unius contuli longitudo. Fratres tum, recessisse videntes bestiam, Lugneumque commilitonem ad eos intactum et incolumem in navicula reversum, cum ingenti admiratione glorificaverunt Deum in beato viro. Sed et gentiles barbari, qui ad praesens inerant, ejusdem miraculi magnitudine, quod et ipsi viderant, compulsi, Deum magnificaverunt Christianorum.

Several details of this account have been ignored by modern monster hunters, who have all failed in their attempts to prove the existence of Nessie.  

First, the so-called monster is never called that: it is an aquatilis bestiae, literally a ‘water beast’ or ‘water animal.’  Nothing unusual about such a designation.  It is not called a dragon, a serpent, a fish, a whale or anything else.  Just an animal, i.e. a mammal.  Secondly, it is found not in Loch Ness, but in the River Ness.  

Some other very important characteristics of the animal need to be critically examined.  For example, it inflicts a serious bite on a man, but does not consume the victim.  Finally, and most importantly, when attacking a second potential swimmer the animal emits a ROAR (fremitus) from its open mouth.

Now, the only aquatic creature that can voice a roar is a pinniped, i.e. a seal.  And, as it happens, both Common or Harbor Seals and Grey Seals are well known to exist in the River Ness (see http://www.lochnessinvestigation.com/siln.html).

The only remaining question is then this: do seals ever attack swimmers?

Indeed they do.  While such attacks are not common, under certain circumstances they can occur.  In fact, only recently (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/earth/wildlife/11253207/Grey-seals-kill-porpoises-and-could-attack-humans-scientists-warn.html) authorities warned the public in Britain about the very real possibility that Grey Seals might attack humans.  Other seals, such as the Leopard, can be even more dangerous to humans (http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/08/0806_030806_sealkiller.html). Even the Elephant Seal has been known to attack swimmers (http://www.animalplanet.com/tv-shows/untamed-uncut/videos/elephant-seal-attacks-divers/).

As is so often the case with these sensationalized myths, the monster of Loch Ness has a very mundane origin: Nessie was a seal.  There is, quite simply, no other explanation for what the swimmers in the River Ness encountered in the time of St. Columba.  Seeking to propose some “cryptid” like a surviving plesiosaur is totally unwarranted.